


His Name

by Clocketpatch



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2013-10-07
Packaged: 2017-12-28 16:58:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/994325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clocketpatch/pseuds/Clocketpatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor gives his reasons for not telling his real name.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Name

**Author's Note:**

> This is me, being bored, shoving one of my random theories into a shoddy bit of Rose/Ten dialogue, probably should have used another Doctor since 10 is rather over-represented, but I wanted to be lazy. Enjoy!
> 
> * * *

  
"So, what's your name."

He looked up from what he had been doing; reversing the polarity of something on the console that he shouldn't have been fiddling with. It was a favourite activity of his when bored, and it usually led to something going wrong and them randomly materialising in some location where they would be forced to run for their lives. Once they had to run from animate blobs of tapioca pudding, which would have been funny, except for the running part.

"Where did that come from?" he asked, sounding mildly amused.

She had asked him this question before, when they had first met, but he had been darker then and his eyes so sad. After his angry reply, and after learning more about his past she hadn't chanced the question a second time. But her curiosity had never gone away. Now he was a different man, more open, maybe ready to disclose his ultimate secret.

"I was just wondering is all, we've been travelling all this time and it’s kind of weird. You know my name." She ended pointedly.

He looked up from his jiggery-pokery again.

"Do I?"

"Yes you do."

"Oh."

He started fiddling again, acting like the question had never been asked.

"Doctor!"

"Well that's it," he looked up, "My name, you just said it."

"That's a title. What did your mother call you?"

Pain came into his eyes. That far away look he used to get.

"I'm sorry," she stammered.

"No, it's…" he shook his head, "my people don’t, didn't, have mothers as you’d understand them. My cousins called my Theta.”

No mother, right, that was weird, but he was an alien. She realised that she couldn’t picture a baby him being cuddled by someone and growing up, experiencing childhood, playing tag… He was too solid, like he’d always existed in one form or another and always would. She really hoped he hadn’t crawled out of a vat or something though, because the last alien race they’d met who reproduced that way hadn’t been overly pleasant.

"Theta." She turned it over her tongue. "Is that your real name?"

"No. It's a diminutive, like kiddo. At school…" He paused a minute, and she wondered if he was having to sort through his memories to come up with the right answer. She was losing thoughts off the tip of her tongue all the time and she was only nineteen, he was, he said he was, nine hundred. …"they called me Theta Sigma." He grinned wickedly. "And I won't translate that."

"Mmmhmm," said Rose. Wouldn’t translate it. Nine hundred maybe, but he was so immature. Probably wanted her to think it meant something impressive and slightly dirty. Okay, knowing boys it could very well have meant something impressive and slightly dirty, but more likely it was some form of insult. She looked at his glasses and rolled her eyes. Nerd Lord probably. She knew she was being rude. He had never been this open with her about his past before. But seriously: _I won’t translate that_?

He looked at her. There was something guarded about his posture, but eager as well. He wanted to impress her, but was afraid of the consequences, of what she might think.

"They didn't know my real name. My cousins did, but they didn't use it, it was-" he inhaled sharply, and shifted from foot to foot. His nervous blush was incredibly cute and sexy. Rose sat up, this was the secret – "Bob."

She couldn't help it. She laughed. She actually cried.

"Your name, is…" she could hardly get it out… "Bob."

His arms tightened at his side and his shoulders slumped.

"That's only the first syllable," he said. His voice caught in his throat a bit. He told her his greatest secret and she was laughing at him.

"I'm sorry, but, all that play, all that sneaking around the truth and…" a fresh wave of chortles knocked her over "…Bob."

"Bobartundanastluuvrangiasummiit." He rattled off in a single breath.

"Wow," she said, her breath gone from laughing and feeling suitably impressed: there was a world of different between Bob and… whatever he just said. "That's long, were all your people's names that crazy?"

"Some even crazier. My friend Romana, her full name would give you a heart attack to say it properly, still, at least it wore well in public."

"And yours didn't?"

He gave a half smile.

"It's about the equivalent to being named Lucifer, or Hitler, or something equally awful, make your own comparisons." He closed his eyes for a second. "Someone, somewhere made a typo and I got stuff with the fallout. You don’t hate me do you?”

"How can I hate you for a typo and a name I can't even pronounce." She looked at his sonic screwdriver poised over the console. She could tell he was itching to reverse something's polarity. "I will hate if I end up running from a pudding again."

"How about a grape jelly?"

"What?"

He indicated the monitor with a guilty look. Rose took one glance. By the time she turned back the Doctor was running for his life down the hall. She quickly took up the chase.

"Come back here! I'm going to kill you!"  


* * *

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters and settings are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.  
  
This story archived at <http://www.whofic.com/viewstory.php?sid=9527>


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